After years of being buried under unrealistic expectations and impossible standards, curves have made a comeback in a big way.

As a women of size I have felt empowered by my curves and have drawn confidence from them. That being said, I have also been made to feel less than because of my body, and I am sure many women of size have had a similar experience. That is why I find it so alarming that some of my thicker sisters (me included) have participated in body shaming. For some reason it has become socially acceptable to to put a women down for being thinner and having modest curves, making them feel less then because of their bodies. The same ugly words used to describe my shape are the same that are now being used to describe my thinner counterparts, words such as unhealthy, gross, and ugly. How has this become acceptable? How did I get sucked in?

About a year ago I was tagged in a photo and I made it my profile picture on Facebook. It was a characture of a curvey, pin up esque girl with a caption that read : "Skinny girls are for wimps." I didn't think much of it at the time, except that in some way it felt like an "eff you" to my haters and it sort of looked like me too. I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was directly insulting some of my closest friends.

A few weeks later I noticed a different photo circulating across my Facebook feed. You have all seen the split screened image of Marilyn Monroe and a much thinner model. Caption reads : "This (arrow to Marilyn) is more attractive that this ( arrow to thinner model)." This time I wasn't as oblivious.
 

I felt offended. I didn't feel offended just as a curvy woman, but offended as a woman. The word "this" in the place of the word "she" just made me feel gross- not to mention the offensiveness it bares to women with a more slender frame. I also felt offended that in order to support my body type, someone felt they had to call down another body type to do so. I felt offended that I had been reduced to nothing more than my size and my shape. The measure of my worth is not calculated by the size of my jeans. I wasn't just offended, I was pissed.

I thought back to that photo that kinda sorta looked like me and kinda sorta made me feel like I was taking a stand for something. "Skinny girls are for wimps!" - I had participated in body shaming. I hadn't even noticed. I hated what that implied about me. To me someone who needs to put someone else down in order to raise themselves up seems very insecure, they seem threatened and they seem jealous. That is not the face I want to present to the world and surely not the one I want looking back at me in the mirror.

It was time to change some thought processes. Besides, envious bitch green totally clashed with this season's colour palette.

I am surrounded by stunning people of every size and colour and shape- all of the time. Where others are choosing to see flaws, I am choosing to see beauty, my life is fuller for it. As an artist and writer I am constantly inspired. I would not choose to be classed or separated by how my flesh and bones are sculpted and so I will no longer categorize people in that way. The thing about beauty is that it is so diverse and expansive. Beauty is an illusion, an idea, an afterthought, an interpretation. It is indeed, in the eye of the beholder. You can not calculate it or classify it. It is like magic- only those who believe in it can see it.

I challenge you to change your mind about beauty. Be open to the possibility that you may only be seeing what you have been taught to see. You have been influenced by television, magazines, music, peers and parents about what you should think and feel. Ask yourself if your opinions are informed and if your bias is limiting your growth. Embrace the differences around you. Let's stop beating each other up with words and instead use that energy to conquer the world! There is so much fabulousness to feed on out there- get it while it's hot.